The Charge
by Ted Carter - Father of the Groom


The Holy Scriptures emphasize the sanctity of marriage. It says: "Let marriage be held in honor among all." (Heb. 13:5). " for this cause a man shall leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." "Husbands, love your wife as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for her." "wives, be subject to your husband, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife as Christ is head of the Church and Savior of the body." (Eph. 5:22-25).

God Established the institution of marriage, this most intimate of all relationships. He designed it and determined it and defended it. It was God who arranged the first marriage, conducted the first wedding. [That's where he said "funeral"] and gave the bride away. He created Eve from the side of Adam, close to his heart and brought her to him. He created them male and female to compliment each other and to fulfill each other's needs and desires. He was pleased with His creation and blessed their relationship as husband and wife.

Marriage is a precious gift. It is a privilege given only to mankind. It is a beautiful relationship designed to bring fulfillment, security, and comfort to a man and a woman. It's a partnership of life and love. It's a source of happiness and joy.

But marriage is also an adventure, with risks, strains, and difficulties. A happy marriage is not easy to achieve or maintain. With its privileges come serious responsibilities demanding work and sacrifice from the beginning. Love must be carefully guarded and continually cultivated. Selfishness must be suppressed, for it threatens to rob and destroy your joy and love. You will need patience and perseverance. You will need God's help. Walk together closely with Him. You will need Christ as Lord of your lives and Lord of your home. Remember your commitment to Him.

Remember also your commitment to each other. Marriage is a covenant: a life contract involving mutual promises relating to all you are and all you have. Guard that commitment with utmost faithfulness! You are giving yourselves to each other, unreservedly, for life. You have chosen each other. You belong to each other. That bond should be stronger than any other human relationship. Let nothing come between you. Your lives are tied together as two ships embarked on a voyage, determined to stay together and help each other in any storm to reach the same harbor. You are like two mountain climbers bound together to share all the dangers and all the glory of the climb. The wedding ceremony aptly says, "for better or for worse..."

Don't lose the thrill of your commitment to each other. Don't take each other for granted. The Apostle Paul says, "a husband must seek to please his wife" and "a wife must seek to please her husband." That's the expression of true agape-love, self-giving, sacrificial love. That love fosters love in the heart of the loved one. Christ has modeled it for us. He is our example of both sacrificial love and submissive obedience.

Jeff, you are committing yourself to love Donna as Christ loved His church. Wow! Donna, you are committing yourself to follow Jeff as the church is to follow Christ. Wow! Those are big commitments. But they can be fulfilled if you work at them together. A loving husband is not hard to follow. And a submissive wife is not hard to love! In reality, they are not exclusive duties of husband and wife. It takes mutual love and mutual submission to make a happy marriage. Within the will of God a wife and a husband must both endeavor to please each other. As you help each other in work, as you bear each other's burdens, as you share each other's joys, as you talk together and eat together and laugh together and worship together, your companionship and love can flourish and grow.

Commit yourselves to understand and appreciate each other as most intimate companions. Commit yourselves to cultivate love by words and deeds of thoughtfulness and helpfulness. Commit yourselves to keep your physical relationship an expression of giving and sharing, rather than of seeking and getting. Commit yourselves to keep the fire of romance burning. Commit yourselves to communicate freely, heart to heart, sharing your problems, frustrations, and hurts, as well as your joys, victories and blessings. Commit yourselves to pray for each other and with each other daily. Remember that only God can make a truly happy marriage. Seek Him earnestly together. He is your Helper. He is your Lord.

Let us pray:

"Dear Father-God, Author of life and love, our Creator, Sustainer, Redeemer. We praise You for Your goodness and grace. We thank You for Your mercy to Jeff and Donna and Melissa. Grant them Your blessing. Enable them to face the trials of life together and grow by them. Keep their values and priorities right. Deepen their companionship; Guard their love. We commend them into your almighty, all-loving hands. In the name of Christ, Our Savior. Amen."